Renew.

Its been some time since I last blogged. When I read through all the posts, I truly had a good laugh at myself. Asking myself, “how come you’re like that?”

More than a year has passed, and many things have happened and people have changed. Some times I wonder why, some times I know why, some times I dont wish to find out why, probably because some things are best left the way it is. I can only conclude that, not everyone is destined to walk with you forever, and at certain point of our lives, there is a point where we need to let go of that person, no matter how important he or she has been before. I have learn to see and know that only God can be the same yesterday, today and forever more, and have learnt to placed my heart and trust in him and not in men. Simply doing this makes me a generally happier person.

The demands of life and my job has trained me to become more logical, and to evaluate the consequences before making decisions. I have to agree, there are times when I think so much that I dont dare to take that little leap.

Just a random post, to keep this blog alive.Until now, I still remember my favourite mango tree even though it is no longer there, it still has a special place in my heart and nothing can replace that. Period.

beauty.

How do you define Beauty?

A girl with pretty features, elegance and poise she walks past you and she’s stunning. Plus, she smells like a bed of rose garden. Totally awesome! – well she surely has that outer beauty. Her down sides, she is a lousy communicator, easily offends, doesn’t work as a team, often likes to be in the spotlight, and would do anything to be in the spotlight.

A girl with average looks, average qualifications, average outer appearance and she’s really thoughtful and considerate. She’s got the brains, and with that hard working attitude of hers, she got herself As for her grades at University. – Brainy beauty indeed.

A girl that loves animals, often took pity for stray dogs and cats and would offer her help for the elderly whenever she sees they need help. She cooks, she’s good with communication with 8mths old to 80yrs old. – Heartwarming beauty

A studious girl, never gives in to difficulties, always had big dreams and visions to become a legacy. She works hard like crazy and most of all. She’s got the money.
- Financial Beauty

If you were a guy, which one would you go for? In order of preference?
( I can assure you, appearance is sth that always would be on the top)

Then we hear stuffs like, but appearance is something that you can WORK at, therefore it is easy to attain. Ok, if it is so easy, then you go try on your own la!

-random rants-

-_-’

在我心里的某一块

为什么我总觉得你老是喜欢在鸡蛋里挑骨头?
Is it so important to justify what’s right and wrong ?

既然你都说每次大家都为同一件事起争论，为何不瓦解。
但人一想到要为了是与非、对与错再谈论一遍，我心就厌倦。
我们，需要沟通…… 但是我也很厌倦老是需要与你澄清生命里的每一件事。与其那样，所以，我选择沉默。

为什么老是见面说话，对与错都显得那么重要？
为何咱们心灵上无法联系？
你知道
你对我来说比对、错更重要。
但为何我总觉得
你把是于非看得比我们的关系来得重要……？

是我那里做得不够好，不够细心？

“你和我之间刻着一条界限不曾有改变……”

5may.

Lord, I’m really downcast and disappointed with myself today. For something I haven’t manage to change for 5months. Perhaps You know why.. Can I have more of You today than any other day? Keep me warm in Your embrace..

Mu heart and strength, many times they fail. But God is the strength of my heart and portion forever.

But those who wait on the Lord shall renew their strength, they shall mount up with wings like eagles, they shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint.

Can I ask for a greater love for people, and more D-ness in my character? Can I stay as soft but be stronger in some other aspects? Can I have more tenacity and capacity?

I can do all things only through YOU who strengthens me.. Lord remember my prayer today…I need You even more than before…

Jesus

When Jesus is in the picture, everything is beautiful.
When Jesus is in the equation, every imbalance seems to work out.
When Jesus is in our hearts, every second is a moment of love.
When Jesus is in our mind, every thought has creativity power.
When Jesus is in our life, everything will work out for those who loves Him for He makes a river out of the desert.
When Jesus is for you, who can be against you?

Stand tall. Stand strong. Stand faithful.

confession

I don’t understand why I’m feeling so tired this week. But casting feelings aside, I need to get my things done. One thing I know, and Jesus showed through His life, I must never stop until it is finished.

There must be moments where He felt weary and lonely. Always praying for people and blessing others and healing the sick, spending time to fellowship with the sinners… Etc. And as I look unto Jesus, I always end up concluding that my problems are minor, and Jesus pressed on because of Love. Love for Abba Father, and His people. If there is one day where I were to lose all my earthly possesions, I won’t want to lose my conviction. Not just salvation, but that conviction so strong that Jesus is fighting for me, and all I need to do is to trust and obey.

Many times I strive hard for a living, getting closed up about life and all, its the love of God which once again open me up. Because I know, more than anyone, He cares the most and I matter the most to Him.

Feeling really stressed up and weary now, but I want to rmb the faithfulness of God and peace of God that will be my Fortress and Refuge. Help me to be on track and keep sight of what is in store for me as I keep on running the race. Don’t stop, keep running, don’t stop.

The main thing isn’t the Finishing line, but the. One who holds my hand in this race that I run.

wedding.

rajie and yanshen rang the wedding bells ytd! pst meng was invited to host their matrimony. and i liked everything which pst meng shared: you can always differentiate a dating couple and a wedded couple in a restaurant. the dating couple would be staring into each other’s eyes, holding each other’s hands, praising one another and even forget to order their food while the wedded couple… the wife would be busying feeding the 3 kids, the husband would be busy eating the food, and staring at the hot and beautiful waitress.. haha!

if that is a picture of reality… haha in fact, thats reality right?

pst then got them to share abt how they met each other, dating story, propose story… etc.. i didnt know this guy who won her heart is really that good! bought a total of 500roses and decorated the hotel room and proposed. wow…. 我有这个命吗？？

honestly, i havent really felt being admired or have any kind of suitors in my life. even when i was in secondary school, i was the one who told my ex i liked him first on this ancient chatroom called irc, then he told me he liked me too. we never held hands, never talk on the phone for very long… we didnt do alot of things a usual couple would do. reason? cos we’re in sec school. we’re not that advanced.. -.-’

wonder how it feels for someone whom you least expect to be interested in you. this is where my LSE comes in. seeing how people can get married at 24,26,28… i sometimes wonder when is my turn gonna be. but looking at all the guys around me….?? not that they are not good… but everyone seems to be my good friend. and i promise myself that its hard to fall in love with someone who didnt started off as good friends with you.

its not that i am despo, but im just penning my thoughts down. who knows when i am older, i will really laugh this post off.. -.-’

rajie said she had a checklist for the guy she wanted. but jenn said last time my checklist would scare guys away.

basically its just 1) spiritual 2) good driver 3)love children 4) can appeciate music/arts 5) financially driven

ok, seems hard leh! thats why i believe when i see some friends put their checklist, and i say they have high standards.. hmm you can say that now is my turn bah.

space.

We used to have a common “space” in our hearts.
often we talk about this little thing called “space”.
then we fought about it, wanting the “space” for our own lives.
soon, we got the “space” we wanted.
You’re in your “space” and i am in my space.
there and here, it has always been like this all along.
perhaps initially we could never see the complete picture of “our space”.

发泄。

有的人，该做的事情不做。不该做，不该想的事情又偏偏去自找麻烦。

有的人，把身边的人当作理所当然，觉得全世界欠他似的，总把自己的情绪发泄在身旁的人身上。

有的人，缺乏灵活性，总觉得自己时对的，就算自己是错的，也觉得自己错的理所当然。

有的人，胆小怕死，什么事都听从别人的，样样没主见。

有的人，根本就是在浪费别人的时间，但是他犹豫不决，无法果断办事。

有的人，只会说别人，总为何不拿面镜子，照照自己。

thoughts.